Hey man sorry I got all grabby
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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