Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
