Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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