And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
