I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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