Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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