I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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