i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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