I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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