I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
