question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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