Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
