Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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