So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
