oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
