Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
His nipple licking is glorious
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