Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
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After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
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IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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