Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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