so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
