why didn't you poke me back
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Oh god it's open bar.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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