Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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