i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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