dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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