the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so let's talk penis.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
