yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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