im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
