my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
