Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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