So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
