reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
