bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
