Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
