so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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