This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
