dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Boobs are out for the taking
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
