he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
