Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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