Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
