Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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