Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver