Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(417): View more from Missouri

Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...

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(438): View more from Quebec

that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.

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These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Read it at the TFLN blog
(864): View more from South Carolina

Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June

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(509): View more from Washington

Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".

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(541): View more from Oregon

And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver

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