the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid