If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.