and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
