My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
