U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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