Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
