I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my being single is dangerous.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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