Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
