Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
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