Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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