another moral hangover. fuck.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
