Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
