if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
