wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
