No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Pappa wants mamma naked
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
