Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
