mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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