You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
