Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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