Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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