I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
