The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dick very happy bro
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
