YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
