Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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