I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
