that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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