We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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